Wednesday, 19 October 2016

Where's the frigging manual?

I can come across all whatever next, what nonsense, but this billboard had me smiling, too accurate. 

Where is the fucking manual?

When I and the wife had our first son (a.k.a Mr block head) he wouldn't latch on to wife's breasts, did this nozzle numb motion thing (ey?!).  After a few hours I was in panic mode. This fucking newborn monkey is going to starve to death and my mom's gonna say it's my fault. I went to the nurse front desk, demanding formula milk and a Bacardi and coke. Head nurse looked at me with a smile, ignored my request. We walked back to room and she explained the 411, broke down the science. Patience people, he is actually feeding.

Suffice to say we couldn't get him off for days after that, I swear I even heard a belch

Lloyds Bank Advert, Billboard next to Lidl Catford

Tuesday, 18 October 2016

We Are Big Metadata

I work with Big Data. back-end software modules crunching through gigabytes of data, endless, repetitive bog standard data. financial transactions, direct debit payments, mobile data, download/upload requests, instant messages. Big server machines spitting out an endless stream of information rich Metadata.  Repetitive updates to the what, when, how and why of data.  Remote 3rd party systems permanently connected to gobble it all up.  Half the time I have no idea the end-use of this machine generated "data about data".  Big Metadata.

Mostly destined for Expert systems that decide your life.  Approved for Credit Card? Big data. Refused a Mortgage? Lower Insurance premium, higher, contract renewals. This shit informs it all.  Fairly mechanical.  I dread the day Real AI type systems can hook in directly.

And then the marketing departments come to play.  Metadata says 1 in 3 people in your area are accident prone.  "Our records show You were recently involved in an accident ..." "Sir, we are an international charity and we ...".  It's been going on for time, but now next level because of the expert systems.  Ever tried to get a call center manager to explain their decision to decline X?  They have no idea how it was reached in the first place.

What is quite new is the Social Network, source of Big "Non-transactional" data, the sort of data that controls narrative.  Narrative, at best subjective.  Consider this OK Cupid summary on Race and Attraction (2009 - 2014)

Black men rate Latina and Asian women over other races, Black women get a bad deal all round. Black women love their men regardless of whatever.  Apart from the frivolity of the data, albeit very dangerous data, it records zero nuance.  We don't know anything of the background of OK Cupid members (location, social, cultural, political, financial).  But they will argue it's hard numbers innit? We are expected to accept it, challenged to prove otherwise.  Do you actually know how many people are actively signed up to OK Cupid? It says nothing of the quality of the data.  A stopped clock is correct twice a day.

Yet such information increasingly plays a part in marketing drives, media campaigns, local news even.  I can be cold and logical as I try to make sense of this data, even offer a plausible reason for it.  But what is it's psychological effects on the sensitive mind?  Who's narrative is it?  Be careful who you let control your narrative.

Where the data is "Open" it can be of extreme value.  Consider this NY Times 2015 article, "1.5 Million Missing Black Men".  It makes for very cold statistical reading, the sort of information that can only be gleaned from hard number crunching.  Who knows what conspiracy is behind it, but one thing's for sure, the numbers are crazy

And for the love of God don't link you debit/credit card details to your social data


Speaking of Conspiracy.  If you don't know Dick Gregory you gotta get informed

32 minutes into the video .. "I'm still trying to figure out, where do Albinos go after high school?" loooool! :-))) I'm still laughing, can't breathe, daddy-o is so random

Monday, 17 October 2016

Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ

Sa Neter is a funny guy, love his coarse ass.  Hotep Bitches!

My Mother laughed when I showed her this video yesterday "these people are lost, of course it's Jesus! they need prayers".  I smiled as I looked around me. My parent's living rooms full up of statues and pictures of White Jesus TM, the local Catholic church is full up of the same.  The church one cracks me up because English people don't even go church anymore, the irony being they introduced it to the African colonies in the first place.  But I get the nuances and can make distinctions, really I do, Jesus preaching the message of forgiveness, communion and brotherly love.  In that respect he shares similarities with Malcolm X and Marcus Garvey, the freedom of mind.

I get all that but do you?  Is Jesus a real thing or symbolic to you?  faith over logic?

Interestingly most respondents to the survey rejected Jesus because of what he looks like.  What if Jesus was African?  It's a very powerful subliminal that particular image in the video, a deep psychological association to racial origins we think of when we picture Jesus.  I can't utter any word about our African Traditional Religious beliefs without my folks crossing themselves multiple times and accusing me of falling in with the Idol and Devil worshipers.  Discourse and friendly argument is not tolerated, it's that deep how Christianity has rooted in our culture. Viral. White Jesus has truly won.

if any of my cousins in Nigeria share another "prayer of the day" image of Jesus and white doves on WhatsApp I'm slapping someone

Sunday, 16 October 2016


great app! especially for those radio shows when the DJ can't be bothered to announce the artist of the song just played, or you know the artist but not the song. been on shazam for a minute and I've got the most eclectic collection of songs (really did I shazam that?), most not my usual stuff, but when the beat/groove catches you? you just gotta know

"kiss me under the light of a thousand stars" ~ wikid!

I snooze therefore

lazy sundays

Got up with a start, remembering my youth had a football match at Midday. The 9 year old was sat on sofa with his siblings, watching Cartoon Network.  "you're supposed to wake me up!" "but Dad, you were sleeping heavily? shrugged me off" "what has that got to do with ...".  I smiled, bless him, must have thought I was dead ass tired to be roused. Me and my funky sleep patterns, going bed at 3 am after watching movie after movie (and endless YouTube clips).  Well it ain't like one's got work the next day..

Maybe it's a man ting, we dudes needing less sleep when we get older, not raving so much anymore.  With women it's different, they can sleep hours and still go bed normal the next night. Me? If I do 8 hours I won't sleep for a whole year.  I jest, I always try catch up if I've done late nights for a few days, like kip on the sofa when I should be watching Arsenal vs. Swansea.  bwai, the sweetest kip those afternoon naps, shot of Rum, fall off the planet into some deep snooze. That's when the youth try their nonsense, putting rolled up paper in your lips and stuff.  Used to do that to my dad till he give us some licks.  It's kosher, if you gonna drop off snoring mid afternoon you gonna invite pranks from the kids.  Luckily they ain't got as far as filming me (they will get dead off ! lol, no, I'm not Daddy Ogre)

Friday, 14 October 2016

#BlackErotica: Bare It All - Skinful Ways

Been following Author/Photographer/Blogger Velvet Lenae on tumblrinstagram, her website for a while.  Decided to buy her book Bare It All by Velvet Lenae | Erotic Short Stories, Poems and Images and must say it didn't disappoint one bit.  Her excellent camera work captures her subjects in beautiful erotic poses.  Just got it so will comment later on the poems and stories, but all in all I like.  Only criticism is the large format it came in could have done with a hardback cover (I think it does, possibly available on Amazon's American store)

Definitely one for your coffee table (dare to be different?)


Man! been a wonky week, temperature drop, cycling to work in the cold, no gym time. life and all it's distractions.  nah, it's been a good week still. Watched a couple movies on Amazon prime, did some paper work needing attention.

Song of the day, "Mr Officer", Jeff and Fess featuring Eric Roberson.  Soulful crooning over very thoughtful lyrics on the Police brutality against Black men and women sweeping the USA.  Lovely production.

Very much needed!

Hip Hop used to be the voice of the Youth, uplifting, conscious, combative.  Even NWA back in the day had "Fuck the Police".  Now it's all been co-opted by the Media Corporate, black boys spewing pure poison on wax, wearing dresses, getting fucked up in the club.

Yes, there's a place for debauchery and bullshit in Hip Hop, but in these very strange times we desperately need the young voices articulating the pain on the streets, furthering the discourse.  Thank god for Kendrick, J Cole, the like, but it's not enough.  Get Drake off our airwaves already.



Also watched "Reggie Yates: Life and Death in Chicago" on BBC iPlayer.  Not good at all.  Trailer below but watch the full documentary.

It's incredibly difficult to comprehend what is happening in Chicago, the death rates by Police and Black-on-Black crime at epidemic levels.  America and their fucking gun culture.  It's almost like Lucifer and his angels of death dwell among our Black brothers and sisters in Chicago.

It is truly scary, and given the ridiculous number of dead in Haiti following the hurricane, you can be forgiven for thinking all of this has a Spiritual/Millennial dimension, like something terrible is going on.

There must be a reason for all of this.


Wednesday, 12 October 2016

Cognitive Dissonance

Ever held a belief you cannot let go of?  Even when you finally know different? Eyes wide shut?

Many have been manipulated/forced to “hold a core belief”.  Sacrosanct, emotions laden, lack-of-evidence proof.  All belief is rooted in mysterious source doctrines, in most cases handed down by a Supreme Being. Etched in Tablets of Stone, (un)questionable, unverifiable.  

Many will kill the challenger to protect the core belief.  The 72 virgins, the paradise of the afterlife, life everlasting, world without end.


Amsterdam: Retrospective

I remember sitting on a marble bench along The Damstraat, stoned as fuck, topping up my melanin in the warm Sunshine.  Completely Zen (and off my rockers).  I turned to my dude

"Son, for real, I can't live here, everyone and everything is too fucking chilled"
"Why? I love the place"
"Nah man. Noticed how we ain't come across a single argument or fight? too surreal"
"You've lived in London too long Brethren, too much hustle and bustle in your life"

I forgot those nice shoes on the coach *sigh*

cheesy paper

use natural tobacco