Tuesday, 23 December 2014

Rumba Nights

The DJ's R&B and Hip Hop selection was so good I had to roll up and big up the guy. His name was Jay something

"Thanks, we throw down Urban Sessions every Sunday"
"Seen, I've not been to Bar Rumba in  a minute"
"When the last time you come?"
"What, like '98, '99"
"Rah! That's last Century Bruah!"



That cracked me up big time. 15 years is so fcuking long ago.  I don't even remember the last time I went raving on a Sunday night.  Time used to be man went up to West End of London to rave, you know, Corks Wine Bar, Moonlighting, a few other clubs around Oxford Circus and Leicester Square.  I and a lady friend where looking for somewhere to shake a leg and thought why not West End, been sometime still.  It was like stepping out of a time machine. The same old gathering of students, white tourists who can't dance but determined to have a lot of fun, same African breddah manning the doors, same drunken merry lads, same honeys strutting.  We thought them a thing or two how to turned up the dance floor :-))

Black Jesus

Jesus Christ is a Black Man







Friday, 19 December 2014

#BlackWomenAreWorksOfArt

Black Lives Matter Rally - microcosm



Saladin is a special guy, very articulate, speaks from the heart and logical with it. For this reason I posted this video, because his articulation distills what is a very complex conversation.  Yes you can amend laws, change constitutions, what not, but what you can't do is legalize away the pain felt for over 238 years of the United States Of America's existence.  It's a healing process that, as the cliche goes, starts from within.  Black lives matter, but it must matter not from some standpoint of legal frameworks, it must matter because of our basic right to be human.  We don't need a law to enshrine that. It must just be. Subject to no debate or justification.  I despair when I see the profiling, overt racism, vilification of  the youth, casual disregard.

Casual deaths. Christ! casual deaths! who kills a man for selling loose cigarettes. I used to buy loosies all the time when I was broke and lived in a hostel. Certainly not a crime that should cost a black man his life.  RIP Eric Garner

And in the UK, though not as bad, these concerns do exist.  You only have to flip a few pages of the London Metro or the Evening Standard to see this.  We may worry about Po-lice killing black youth, but trust, this shit goes evening deeper.  This is not a fight for lives, this is a fight for the very reason for being.

"when I first got involved in women and childrens rights I was whispering, now I shout it out".  

It was an interesting observation from an outsider in the cypher.  The white lady voiced a sentiment I know a lot of white America feel.  I had a drink with my American Director last week and his view was that his country men were straight up morons.  He's married to a Korean lady and related first hand experiences of the institutionalisation of shit.  I asked him if he'll take part in the protests and such.  His reply was somewhat wishy-washy-ish and I realized this is a discussion he's never really had until a cold night in a London pub with an African guy, sympathetic, but who wouldn't really know what it's like on the ground.  24-hour rolling news and people are still not talking.

dialogue not legal frameworks

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

blocked in dystopia

Charlie Brooker's "Black Mirror: White Christmas" (Channel 4, 4oD). fucking hell.



Completely freaked out by an incredibly brilliant story.  If dystopia can be described...  dark, razor sharp wit, funny, depressing.  It's sci-fi tinged but it really is about people, the tech acting as props.  It's a story about love, lust, affection, betrayal.  I was once blocked on a chat forum and I found it disconcerting. You can't read their posts, can't read their replies, can't send them a message.  Can't broker peace.  It was over some trivial disagreement with someone who always thinks they are right.  The void was instant.  All the mail exchanges I had with them, the shared links, photos, all disappeared.  It's like a ghost in the machine.  They were there and not there, at the same time.  Twitter and Facebook have the same blocking feature, and though useful for the stalkers and pervs, people use it, like in my case, to block others they don't like/agree with (or on some perceived notion of whatever the fuck).



Looks fun and cool init?  Fast forward a few short years in time, with everyone wearing Google Glass implants, and you can actually block someone from your physical vision.  Point Of View tech.  Permanent.  Imagine a quarrel you can't resolve, a sorry you can't say, a knowing look you can't give.  Imagine emotional hell.  And then there's the flip side.  To misquote that guy from the Matrix, sometimes Ignorance really is bliss.  I won't spoil it, go watch for yourself.  Just get a blanket and some hot chocolate before you do so.  Merry Christmas

***


"The world I love is gone".

Love the line.  I'm not the biggest fan of Childish Gambino.  I'm not the biggest fan of anything.  I like this song "3005 Pt 2" because his singy singy rap style works a treat with the Chill trap sound.

Spirituality, Sex and Burlesque



Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Gollibe, translation



It is indeed a beautiful song.

Gollibe (dialect/spelling alt: Golibe, Goliwe) literally translates to Rejoice.  Let me try my hand at an Igbo translation, definition of the lyrics. Flavour's opening line is "It's been long I've searched for the hand of a beautiful good girl". Igbo is a very colourful language, loads of proverbs, praise, flattery, insults, jokes, whatever very much part of everyday conversation.  "Anwu nta atabe ya" - "pretty girl, mosquitoes haven't stung her beautiful skin".  Lol, Flavour, you too much.

He sings "Gollibe! Ugebe m o!". Gollibe, you are the mirror of my heart.  "Mma si na Chi", Beauty comes from the most high. Funny how the word "Chi" means the same thing in many languages. The Igbo have always had a pantheon of Gods so there was never the concept of one God.  If one says "Chi" one refers to his or her personal guiding spirit, an ancestor, a local deity, such connections.

An interesting video, bits thrown in that are not exactly Igbo in origin, like the parade of the maidens (South African?). Another is the King.  We have a saying "Igbo enwero Eze", "The Igbo do not have kings".  Igbo chiefs, kings and some Igbo kingdoms were very much a colonial invention, vassals empowered and answerable to the Colonial district commissioner.  The Igbo tribe was always ruled by consensus, policy debated and set by the Elders of the tribe.  The guy who plays the King, Peter Edochie, is a family friend and one of the greatest actors to come out of Nigeria.  He played Okonkwo in a screen adaptation of "Things Fall Apart" for which he won many awards. Legend

OK, this ain't an Igbo culture class and the director Clarence Peters is allowed his artist license.  I like at the end were it turned out the girl daydreaming, made me smile.  We all dream

:)) there, tried my bestisis! season greetings x

Words

I found myself singing the refrain to Sizzla's "Words Of Divine" in the shower this morning.  It's his one song that always calms me when I feel a schism in the spirit.  Sometimes things happen, truths come to light, you end up feeling .. not really knowing how to feel.



I invited an old friend out the other day, one whose life stream has intertwined with mine in the recent past.  He turned up looking frailish and much older than I last remembered seeing him.  I had planned to ask a lot of questions about the past, grill him for answers about stuff, clear the air, but the sight of him banished my thoughts.  Life is short and when one dallies with death other things pale, become not so important, not so pressing.  The fact that he was standing there before me meant it wasn't his time.  He told me of countless hospital visits, procedures, near death situations on an operating table.  He told me the story of his life.  It's kinda weird because you always imagine your peers being OK, ill health the reserve of the old and infirm.  My mantra is we will live forever.  I need to revise that, step up doing the right things, switch it up to taking care of body and soul properly.  I also need to seek closure on many things, adopt a different stance, because even though shit happens some people are still in your lifestream.  Ever present somewhere in your psyche. Who knows, fated to remain so.

Bumped into another friend yesterday night at my Son's school Christmas Carol service.  Him I'd just seen over the weekend just gone, having had a good rave with the ladies, foods and drinks.  But I was another person, cloaked, mask in place.  You know how sometimes you meet someone and circumstances mean you can't cultivate the friendship that much, but it blossoms anyway?  After a passing conversation where he talked about life and family, I had deliberately ignored to tell him our kids went to the same school, didn't think it mattered anyway (or should matter).  Afterall I was really a stranger.  Yeah, friendships happen like that, but surely the context should be clearer, no?  When I saw his daughter step to do her solo I just knew she was his, the mannerism, resemblance, everything.  Pretty girl.  I also knew I'd bump into him by the end of the service.  His face was loaded with surprise and lots and lots of questions written on his face as he tapped me on the back, questions for which I had no answers.  I felt a tinge of sadness, a bit angry for having being so guarded.  But I chuckled to myself, my Son having told me she was a very cool girl, happy go lucky, but doesn't always hand in her homework on time.  One of the lads so to speak.  And now they know their dads know each other? cue birthdays and family stuff.  Don't take a friendship for granted, no matter under what context it develops.  Dude, apologies.

And yet another friend, one who was once a very close brethren, family.  Went on holidays together, would drop by to my yard even when I was away working abroad, check up on peeps and shit.  Only he disappeared for 9 years with no explanation as to why.  I suspected it had something to do with his cousin's Swedish partner who I had grown close to and had helped get a job in my company.  I was working for a Swedish software house.  It didn't end well. his cousin resented me for being the rock he wasn't to his woman.  Things ended up fucked, cousin pussy hole bwai secretly effin' off to Gambia to get married to some other woman, me finding out and not knowing how to tell her, her finding out anyway, both cutting me off in the end.  My boy never said anything about the tangle of shit.  We met for a drink, him dashing off early after one, something about running an errand for his mother.  I didn't see him again for 9 years.  Everyone asked where my boy was at, what happened, was he OK.  I was blank each time.  Life moved on.  Then we bumped into each other at a Tarrus Riley concert.  Even though he's tried to rekindle the friendship I don't know (or can't remember) how to relate.  It's a strange one because in flashes the old union surfaces, and in the next turn we realize we our lives have drifted apart.  I'm a different guy from the happy go lucky of back then.


Thursday, 27 November 2014

Home Of The Brave



Thank Allah I didn't have to ride in to work this morning.  nothing like yesterday dawn when this video was shot

Working From Home (WFH as we like to shorten it) can have it's joy, though doesn't help when my Moms gets wind of it and pops round at 1:30pm.  Making endless cups of tea and coffee, Skype meetings with colleagues, playing with the baby boy and entertaining my mother, is just about all I can do to get some work done.  Surprisingly I get through more than I would being physically in the office.  Still it's good and some days, especially rainy ones, I'm very glad I didn't have to pop out. And of course the ritual Wednesday lunches with my sweetie is always a blessing.   we must've been to every cafe in area.

Family, love, death and taxes. Life ey?

Saturday, 22 November 2014

Ascension Fridays

was chilled last night, bubbling jacuzzi to soothe the bones, sweet convo, sexy times. Doctor's orders. Was a Maxwell night too, and driving home, I gave the old disc a good rinse, remembering why dude is so good.



It was back in '96 I first heard Maxwell, on some drivetime Kiss Radio show, Max and Dave I think it was. The host was bemused at the groupies crowded at the studio entrance, and the man himself was the epitome of cool, plying that hipster grown man soul.  Son was suave with his interview answers and non fussed by all the attention.  The DJ played Ascension and I drove to HMV there and then to pick up his cd, Maxwell's Urban Hang Suite.



Also remembered he was the source of some really classic Hip Hop samples.  Pharoahe Monch sampled "Til The Cops Come Knockin'" on his classic "Queens", Little Brother sampling "Whenever Whenever Whenever" on their song "Whatever You Say (remix)"



"Whatup Brown skin, Your skin smelling like Cinnamon" .. brraaaapp!

Friday, 21 November 2014

TGIF - Skelewu Vibes

:~)) Been a minute in Internet Blogging Time, but hey real life drives this



how cool is the dancing? don't you just wanna get up and brock up? Davido's Skelewu is that shizzz...

So tonight gotta meet up with a ghost from the recent past. scary .. muahahahahah (best Dr. Evil impression) lol.  many questions to ask, many answers to work out.  I find it interesting dealing with the nuances and complexities of different personalities. Not that I do complicated, but, I dunno, call it armchair psychology, mental voyeurism, whatever.  Sometimes the reasons for stuff are way more interesting than the actual event itself, lend a different spin on things.  I'm getting older, do plain and simple these days (pah! as if), like my TV black and white lol!

So, yeah, TGIF. Don't be evil (muahahah.. oh shut up Chromey!)

***

dinner served?

I so want to do Naked Sushi, nosh off a hot black body. never mind it ain't gonna happen, I'm tripping. Oh well, at least I have my fantasies lol. 

Oh, what is that I hear? You want to volunteer your beautiful body? ;-) I will eat everything, not a morsel left behind, and I will lick your plate clean ...



http://pussyquint.tumblr.com/post/102984591357/pussyquint-zumainthyfuture

***

Was a sad Tuesday last week. Edward Mordrake, the two faced monster, killed Twisty the Clown in American Horror Story: Freak Show.  Dragged his beating heart back to very depths of hell.  Twisty's backstory made you feel sorry for him, but boy! Elsa's backstory? Freaked me the fuck out.  How did they cut. her.? .. never mind

A tribute to the scariest clown I've ever seen on TV



Sunday, 16 November 2014

biggin' up Jesus while being trimmed

"What? You don't know Milton?" 



My local Barber, Bryce, gave me joke yesterday morning as I stepped in for a trim. He was blasting some serious Country Gospel out the speakers, big ass sing-along with his fellow barber Ta Ta ("what kinda name is Ta Ta? ya baby?").  I was laughing, quite amused. These boys are forever playing some seriously slack Ragga Dancehall tunes, nuff times having to tell them to switch it off cos I've brought my sons in for a haircut. Said singer's name was Milton Bromfield, apparently a house hold name in Jamaica.

The Jamaicans are just like Nigerians.  I grew up listening to Country & Western, no day passing without Dolly Parton or Don Williams playing on the radio.  Used to find it bizarre having moved from the UK where I didn't remember hearing one C&W song.  The other was the local passion for Rock music. Bryce said it was the same in Jamo too, started some nostalgic reeling off of artist names and songs.  Most interesting haircut I've had to date.

Come into my life

The weekend's flown by. From family visits to discovering cool wine bars to just chilling, its been good.  Most weekends I'm struggling to fit things in, over committed to sorting xyz and the third out. It's all good, as long as you can balance/compensate along the way.


It's interesting how our relationships and interactions with others come into play. some we bond on some shared common ideal, some by unintended juxtaposition, others plain attraction, sometimes you just plain like (or hate irrationally) the person for no other reason other than some feeling/intuition ("they are ok", "they've got an attitude", "safe brethren", "stush", "cool peoples").  I suppose that is the spice of life, permanent and transient bonds.  I once had an altercation with someone I thought was safe, the beef more intense than the friendship was.  Our compatibility was more in strife/competition than in camaraderie.  I realised later it was a force fit and I'd made the wrong call. Gullible.  Still, there have been friendships formed with the most unlikely of people, people you wouldn't usually associate with or admit into your social circle.  My mother was (still is) forever questioning my choice of friends and associates, my reasons why usually quite difficult to convey.  I dunno, organic perhaps?

Spoke to a lady friend who sought my advice on if she ought to continue a friendship with one of her girls.  Said friend had done some dodgy things that made her question their friendship, yet she still found herself in their mental and physical space.  I questioned the reasons for their friendship.  Not unexpected she couldn't quite say, just because.

Another lady friend facebooked me complaining she'd been jilted yet again and what was wrong with her?  I volunteered that there's nothing wrong (I'm biased anyway) but asked what it is about the guys that drew her to them, why the attraction?  The two to date have been Latino, suave dudes, me suggesting too cool for their own good, like competing with her vainglorious self.  We laughed out loud at my cheeky response and she seemed kinda better and less self critical for it.

I don't pretend to be some sort of armchair psychoanalyst and accept that some things are unique.  I have interactions of my own that I question, my curiosity and sense of adventure taking the place of common sense.  But life is what it is and sometimes you have to let things play out.  Maybe your original assessment of the person is correct regardless of how things pans out, maybe you find their character and world view interesting in spite of, especially when it tends to the colourful and "out there".  Sometimes we are wrong, but reasons for our mistakes out of our hands.  Some things flounder because of conflicts in interest, complicated interactions, not being in the right space and time, deceit, overexposure, new experiences that demand exploration.  I once had a guy tell me his new relationship broke down cos he and the lady went ahead too quickly, going on holidays together a few weeks into their runnings.  He thought it was a great idea, whirlwind romance, throw caution to the wind. He found her demanding, she found him less sensitive than she thought, holiday cut short after three days, relationship done.  Funny enough they've become great friends.  Didn't ask why, he wouldn't know lol.

***

OK, Kim famous-for-whatever. What's going on here?  I get nudity and all that, butt .. 

Monday, 10 November 2014

Monday Blues - Drinking Coke While Clowning

What's with the Coke Xmas adverts? was watching Downtown Abbey last night, never heard of the programme before.

"what you mean you never heard of Downtown Abbey before?"
"I haven't! come like female ting init? is it new?"
"Oh that is so sexist, what if I said that about Dr. Who?"
"You can say whatever you like"
"hmm. says the one that watches American Horror Story on Fox. that is so female"
"how would you know? you've been too scared to watch an episode!"
"don't like all that duppy nonsense"

Can't argue with a woman wielding a remote control.  The first advert break had this big ass Coke advert, big ass truck driving around to nowhere.  No wonder Santa is so fat.  I had to check the date. 10th of November.  Next one was these kids running around in a Debenhams store, picking up random presents. What's with these retailers?  I don't even remember drinking copious amounts of cokes during Christmas! (that would be woofing a box of quality street all by myself lol!).  :-))


You can guess the rest of the ad breaks.

Talking of American Horror Story: Freak Show.  The featured Clown, Twisty, is so fucking dark!


And talking of Clowns, they've been banned in France for terrorizing citizens.  Professional Clowns in the USA have been condemning Twisty.  I suggest the Clowns lighten up :-)))

Saturday, 8 November 2014

The Weeknd: Chill Trap Kingz, Vol. #1

"often, often, gal I do this often, make that pussy poppin', do it how I want too"

Friday, 7 November 2014

Ebola Rant

The triage nurse first asked "have you been to Africa in the last three weeks?".  I looked at her really puzzled.  "Africa? it's a continent". she smiled sheepishly and rephrased "West Africa?".  I said no but was a bit miffed. OK, it's ebola and its African.  After an hour's wait I get to the see the doctor and ras-claat say's "have you been to Africa in the last three months?".  hold up, are you taking the piss.  He realizes I'm angry. "we have to ask this as a precaution". "doctor, the guideline is three weeks for ebola. is this about some other infectious disease?". he mumbles some nonsense, I cut him short, like get on with it, I've got no time for this nonsense.

When I saw this headline on the front page of the Metro, "You can't work here .. you've been to Africa", I didn't even blink.  Beyond the extreme ignorance on exhibition is an underlying racist mindset.  They bring their poverty and diseases.  You only have to read the YouTube comments section of a Vice News report on ebola.  Hand of God, Eugenics, name calling, real surprise at Liberians and Sierra Leoneans speaking good english, the gauntlet of racial stereotypes.  Despite what they watch, the struggle, hope, real effort and sacrifices of the people, the burial teams and medical staff they chose to resort to their basal racist nature.

Rant over. Good Friday folks

TGIF - Scottsboro Boys

I'm good darling, how are you?

Been a while I blogged about personal stuff.  Not having a Mobile Phone means I can't blog en route, take pictures, etc.  It's been three and half weeks and I'm now starting to feel not having a phone.  So I've fully got my evenings back to myself instead of forever peering into a phone screen, WhatsAppin', Tumblrin', Tweetin', Google HangOut with my American girl.  But I miss the odd instant reach out, the ability to Google for quick answers. Not having access to Google Maps turn-by-turn Navigation, caught me out cycling the other night.  I've reverted to primitive instincts - it's midday because my shadow's in front of me, etc - and it's not been so bad.

It's times like this You really know who checks for you, who will go old school to find you.  Had one of my home girls miss me so much she just turned up at my yard and spent a good part of the weekend ("dude you haven't been on WhatsApp for 13 days! had to check up on you").  Aww. Went to the park and played with the kids, she cooked with the wife, we lounged later on, watching YouTube videos into the early hours of Sunday (ChromeCast rocks!!!).  Kinda stuff you miss cos the digital age creates the false impression that we are always in touch.  In the old days visits were the order of the day, there wasn't always a phone and shit on hand.



Went to see Scottsboro Boys at the Garrick Theatre, London the other night.  Fantastic musical, incredibly soulful songs and a deserved break for me from what was a hectic work day.  Summary, in 1931 Alabama, Nine Young Black Boys, the youngest barely 13, were falsely accused by two White Women of raping them.  The story was told through song and dance, some really brilliant singing, a unique way to tell and keep alive what was a very harrowing tragedy.  Everyone must see this musical

Scottsboro Boys, Garrick Theatre, London, 2014

My 11 year old was full of questions

"Why are White people racist?"
"Not all of them"
"Is Alabama still like this?"
"No, things have changed"

But I wasn't so sure about my last answer.  Always sucks talking about race, why can't we all just get along?



***

Whatever you do, have a great Friday, drinks on me ...

Wednesday, 5 November 2014

Tips For Erotique Swingers, Vol. #1


found this on some random site, too hilarious

1.  Be warned! For the better or the worse pics may not bear any resemblance to reality.
2.  All dicks look more or less alike to us women. So if you don't have a face pic to stand out above the sea of dicks on here you'll stand no chance!
3.  There are many fake things in this site, "fake boobs" probably being the least concerning of them all!
4.  Add 10 years to anyone over the age of 40 on here. Subtract 5 years for anyone 25 or younger
5.  If someone invites you over for some NSA, it is probably not a free pass to join the "National Storytelling Association
6.  If they have been a member for a year and don't have any veri's there's a reason for that.... Run
7.  You think you have a unique perversion? Think again! Welcome to Fabs you'll never be alone again
8.  40% of 'straight' men on here lie. On a cold day in jan when no one was looking they would happily meet a TV/TS or man ;-)
9.  Don't try to look for a future husband on here . Really !?!
10. Be prepared to have deep pockets
11. If a single female looks like a Victoria secrets model ,but isn't photo verified nor verified enjoy flirting with a bloke
12. Men lie about their height. If they are shorter than 5ft 9in Subtract 1-2 inches as a rule and wear flats ;-)
13. 'Objects in mirrors may be smaller than they appear'.
14. Cancelling a date an hour before you are due to meet with a lame excuse will not provoke the best response from the person already en route
15. When they write can't wait for round two on a veri ... Don't believe them ;-)
16. Single guys. If at first you dont succeed.......give up, it ain't happening!
17. If you don't arrange to meet within the first two weeks . You are unlikely to meet, fabbers have very short attention spans
18. If he only messages you during the day and you never hear from him at night. He is married.
19. The prettier the face, the bigger the cock the less cunnilingus you'll receive :-(
20. Women's sizing: Slim = size 8-10, Curvy/ avg/ athletic = size 12-14, Ample/ large = size16- 20, Fabulous= Just plain huge
21. Men's sizing : 12 "Fab" inches become 8 imperial inches; 8 "Fab" inches become 5.33 imperial inches. Men exaggerate too ;- )
22. Always shave and shower , nobody finds the Ron Jeremy look attractive anymore.
23. If it looks to good to be true , it probably is !
24. When a guy/girl says he/she wont verify you or show your verification because he she wants to keep you to his or her self . They are lying. ;)
25. Know thyself... Experiment... Try things at least once, and repeat those that you enjoyed x
26. Don't ever ever click on "Gallery of newest public photos"... you could risk going blind for life lol
27. Boys/girls this is a swingers site. If you can't handle that people will have sex with more than one person at any one time.Then join POF ;o)
28. If you see a couple profile, but you only ever see the man on cam... it is probably just a guy that wants to tap your virginal ass! lol
29. Omitted x
30. Bi curious means they're Bi. Bit like marmite you either like it or you don't.
31. If their status just says browsing /curious = time waster or worse looking for a relationship. You won't realise till they have moved in ;-)
32. If they look at your pic more than twice in 5 minutes they are either extremely keen or they recognise you:))
33. If their status says they're leaving , they'll still be here next month with the same whiny update or they will be back with a new profile :-)
34. No it's never our real name. Seriously have you ever met a Lou Lou Trixabelle
35. Def: FRIEND (noun) a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection. (got it?)
36. Look,smell,taste and be good. Simples.
37. Remember single men don't read that's why comic strip were invented ;-)
38. Ugly men try harder and are far funnier
39. Remember guys Girls do talk
40. If you say NO and they still message forget blocking go public get a court order... Lol
41. Always helpful to let someone know you only have one leg before you turn up to Fuck ??!! Ancient history but a true story nevertheless lol x
42. When taking a selfie in your bedroom remember to clean your room and make your bed. It's not a good look and we do notice!
43. When you meet someone and they say sorry, did I forget to mention I'm a escort but not when I meet people from fab .. Keep calm and carry on.
44. Guys when posting your bareback pics of you and your long term GF ... Best to say. Otherwise it makes you look reckless and one to avoid !!
45. I'm not anti-social, I'm selectively social. There's a difference
46. Faulty Webcams are just an excuse for being ugly. ;-)
47. Fab is very much like pof ...in one way or another your gonna get fucked but at least on fab you'll enjoy it.
48. Always read the profile before getting carried away after looking at the photos...just in case there's that hidden code word...
49. Cannot accommodate , cannot travel ??!! WTF does that mean? What can you do?
50. If they don't get in touch within 24 hours of reading your message move on it ain't happening.
51. Stalkers exist. Don't forget that your instant messaging may contain your real name even if you have a pseudonym on here.
52. Stalkers exist. Don't forget your voice-mail and email might reveal your full name
53. If you can't tell what part of the body you are looking at on a profile pic . Block them! The rest of the body is going to be horrendous. Lol
54. If you say you will pay for half the cost make sure you bring enough money on the day.
55. Definition of dementia: sending a Friend invite to someone you stood up 6 months earlier. Twat !
56. A wink = I can't be arsed to write and a friend request = I just want to perve at your pics!
57. Thank you = don't want to ignore you but not interested. It doesn't mean lets start chatting !
58. In every bunch of roses you will alway find pricks !
59. Demanding to know why someone hasn't replied proves that they were right to delete your message in the first place
60. Offensive profile names like "gag on my..."or "pussycrusher" are not sexy nor enticing.
61. On fab the uglier/older/ fatter the person the higher they set their criteria for you!
62. Use a dictionary to check the spelling on your profile and updates . It takes two seconds, but speaks volumes!
63. Beware of a couples profile with only selfie pics ? If you are a couple why would you not take pics of each other ?!?
64. A mars bar and a bottle of Asti is not a suitable alternative to dinner
65. A correctly posed for pic will hide a multitude of flaws. Laying on your belly can hide a fat stomach and show off a flattering ass ;-)
66  Expect the unexpected. But more importantly un-expect the expected.
67. Using text speak in your profile doesn't make you sound cool. Just thick!
68. A big thanks to all my anonymous contributors. You have been a big help with your funny anecdotes. Mwah x
69. If you are still on here after reading all of these tips ... May god bless you! You need it, as you will need the patience of a saint!

Sunday, 2 November 2014

I Wish You Were Here ...

"oooh baby! I wish you were here to fcuk me.."

 Afroerotik - "I Wish You Were Here.."

Dami Adekoya - "Hottest R&B Love Making Songs 2013 (Secret Temptation Vol. 1)"

Friday, 31 October 2014

TGIF - Summer Love

This is such a beautiful song, perfect Friday morning tune.  It's a warm-ish day, I felt like some smooth jazzy vibe to work to. Paul Hardcastle's "Summer Love" is that sultry joint, speaks volumes of innocent love, abandon, yearning, honest sentiments. Sort of thing you'd hear in a lounge bar. 



I've not listened to anything by the artist since his seminal joint "19".  Didn't even know dude was still alive (lol! I love saying that).  The years have taken nothing from Paul Hardcastle's production chops, and I can even hear where the Chill Trap boys get their influence from.  I heard the song off this Mixcloud Tape (track #4 in the playlist) .. enjoy .. and whatever you do, have a lovely Friday.  Oh yeah, don't drink too much.



Hey!!! How could I have forgotten to post the song 19!@*?  Here it is

Sunday, 26 October 2014

Loving You Was Like A Party

I'm really loving Marlena Shaw's music. I've rewound "Loving You Was Like A Party" like 5 times today.  She has a way with lyrics I don't hear much these days in Soul music



Between her anthology CD and this Afrobeat remix project disc my current choice of music while driving is mad limited.  Sometimes little choice is a good thing.

Off the Afrobeat remix joint Bonobo's remix of Honny & the Bees "Psychedelic Woman" is the shit.  braaaaap! Ghana special! Chale! move ya ting abeg!




***

Officers face possible action over blasting out rap song

Two police officers who blasted out a rap song from their Essex patrol car late at night could face disciplinary action, the force has confirmed. An investigation was started after a film was posted on YouTube showing the car in Chelmsford with KRS-One's Sound Of Da Police being played.

 A senior officer is to decide if action will be taken against the officers. A spokesman said the two officers had been identified for a report on their "behaviour and activity".






Time Is Illmatic

Time is Illmatic, keep static like wool fabric



Great, great documentary about the making of Nas's Illmatic, a piece of Urban Poetry, a work of art that will forever remain the very definition of the music genre/lifestyle that is Hip Hop.  Put illmatic against many of today's albums and it body's them all - sonically, lyrically, cohesive.  Showing at the ICA (do reach if time permits, tickets prices are good) in London, possibly other places, it was a Saturday night well spent, educating and remembering why I spun this album like a million times in 1994.  The closest work in my mind to hit me sonically and lyrically was A Tribe Called Quest's Midnight Marauders.


"For the rest of your life know that you are a King"

Nas's intelligence always came across in his music, but to hear him speak, reflect on losses and gains that inspired him was confirmation of his uniqueness.  It was much more than a celebration and appreciation of an album.  It was also a commentary on 80s and 90s inner city New York and America at large, it's extreme social ills that defined and inspired a whole generation of Urban kids to break away and form an alternative to the quo.


"I sip the Dom P, watching Gandhi til I'm charged
Then writing in my book of rhymes, all the words past the margin
To hold the mic I'm throbbin', mechanical movement
Understandable smooth shit that murderers move with
The thief's theme - play me at night, they won't act right
The fiend of hip-hop has got me stuck like a crack pipe
The mind activation, react like I'm facing
Time like Pappy Mason, with pens I'm embracing
Wipe the sweat off my dome, spit the phlegm on the streets
Suede Timbs on my feet makes my cipher complete
Whether cruising in a Six cab or Montero Jeep
I can't call it; the beats make me falling asleep
I keep falling, but never falling six feet deep
I'm out for presidents to represent me (say what?)
I'm out for presidents to represent me (say what?)
I'm out for dead presidents to represent me"


"A baby's being born at the same time a man's being murdered the beginning and end"



"Rappers, I monkey flip 'em with the funky rhythm I be kickin'
Musician, inflictin' composition of pain
I'm like Scarface sniffin' cocaine
Holding an M16, see with the pen I'm extreme, now
Bullet holes left in my peepholes
I'm suited up in street clothes, hand me a nine and I'll defeat foes
Y'all know my steelo with or without the airplay
I keep some E&J, sitting bent up in the stairway
Or either on the corner betting Grants with the cee-lo champs
Laughing at baseheads tryna sell some broken amps
G-packs get off quick, forever niggas talk shit
Reminiscing about the last time the Task Force flipped
Niggas be running through the block shootin'
Time to start the revolution, catch a body, head for Houston
Once they caught us off-guard, the Mac-10 was in the grass and
I ran like a cheetah with thoughts of an assassin
Pick the Mac up, told brothers, "Back up," the Mac spit
Lead was hittin' niggas, one ran – I made him backflip
Heard a few chicks scream, my arm shook, couldn't look
Gave another squeeze, heard it click, "Yo, my shit is stuck"
Try to cock it, it wouldn't shoot, now I'm in danger
Finally pulled it back and saw three bullets caught up in the chamber
So now I'm jetting to the building lobby
And it was full of children probably couldn't see as high as I be
(So what you sayin'?) It's like the game ain't the same
Got younger niggas pulling the triggers bringing fame to their name
And claim some corners, crews without guns are goners
In broad daylight, stickup kids – they run up on us
45's and gauges, Macs, in fact
Same niggas will catch a back-to-back, snatching your cracks in black
There was a snitch on the block getting niggas knocked
So hold your stash 'til the coke price drop
I know this crackhead who said she's got to smoke nice rock
And if it's good, she'll bring you customers in measuring pots
But yo, you gotta slide on a vacation, inside information
Keeps large niggas erasin' and their wives basin'
It drops deep as it does in my breath
I never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of death
Beyond the walls of intelligence, life is defined
I think of crime when I'm in a New York state of mind"

Saturday, 25 October 2014

Dialectically speaking over Kung-Fu breaks

It's everywhere in our consciousness, the drivers of our thoughts and processes, the foundation of new positions, new views.  Communism vs. Capitalism, Liberal vs. Conservative, Left vs. Right, Spiritual vs. Atheist.  Religion vs. The State, Sensuality vs overt Eroticism.  Social Contract vs. Complete autonomy from Government.  And sometimes Right vs. Far-Right (Tories vs. UKIP?).

God vs. Devil?

Very simply put, the Hegelian Dialectic is a philosophical process to resolve intractable arguments.  Thesis, Antithesis and the synthesis.  And from the resultant synthesis a new position is formed, and on and on it goes ...  The video below does a good job of explaining this



I remember a story a friend told me about his teenage years, about his father taking drastic measures to get him off cigarettes, make him sick of it.  His Dad locked him in a room with two packets, insisting he must smoke them all.  I was amused by the story, but puzzled too at his father's methods

"But why didn't he simply get you Nicotine patches???"

My comment was the perfect antithesis to his Dad's approach.  But what would have been a possible synthesis of our two positions?  It's like the Ebola crisis.  One school says (extremely) isolate the crisis countries, let the disease peter out, another says no, we must create a vaccine.



Another interesting example of Hegel's Dialectic.  A heated argument, Lauryn Hill vs. Jeru The Damaja.  You know what, they both right, relatively (racial perception relative right?), and at the end the Compere, Crazy Sam, demands the synthesis.

:-) Don't worry, it's all related, I ain't off on one...

***

It's still Black History Month so it's always good to dig into the origins.  Back in Nigeria, when I was at University, 19 years old and eager as hell, I attended a Martial Arts institute.  The Sensei told us first and foremost Martial Arts was African in origin, explaining and demonstrating the ancient Goju system from Sudan, Egypt etc.  It sounded very radical and kinda wrong to us, especially to kids raised on a diet of Bruce Lee and Shaw Brothers Shaolin kung fu flicks.

Was he right? Watch the documentaries :~))





The bond to the African consciousness and it's diaspora was never extinguished by slavery and opression, as the Capoeira video showed.  And it still lives on.  Hip Hop and Martial Arts! Ah men! :~))) see what I did? had to take it there...


I went to see Afu Ra in some club in Ladbrooke Grove, must've been like Y2K or some time around that. Astounding show, banging beats and rhymes, impromptu martial arts displays. Yup, Afu banged on about it's African origins too.  

Afu Ra and Jeru The DamajaWu Tang Clan, represented a 90s renaissance of conscious Hip Hop with that discipline and hard street edge.  We were on it.




Afu on his Reggae ting with Gentleman. Boom choon!



"I, leap over lies in a single bound, who are you? The Black Prophet".  damn, still get goose bumps from those opening bars.  Jeru was on fire, beefing with Puff Daddy and Biggie on their materialistic ways.

Funny story I once went to see Jeru in concert, and on the way, stopped at a McDonalds for a bite. Who do I bump into there? Jeru! I was thinking "This brother surely can't be eating a Big Mac?".  We gave each other a pound, some small talk.  He notices me staring at his burger.  He points to it "Fish Fillet".  We both burst out laughing.  Cool Brethren.


Thursday, 23 October 2014

Mobo Awards 2014

The Mobo awards, gaggle of white winners and mixed race/racially ambiguous presenters and performers. OK, I'm being wicked (Mel. B ain't gonna age gracefully, I don't care what you think) .. but .. but .. where di the black people dey?

#multiculturismwhatever. So, yeah, a fair question? discuss

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/29735457

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/jess-glynne-hits-out-at-ridiculous-criticism-of-white-artists-nominated-for-mobo-awards-9810566.html



***

Wednesday, 22 October 2014

She watch Channel Zero

Am I getting old or something?

I was watching Channel AKA (formerly Channel U), the UK music station once famed for it's grime and UK G innovative output, and commented to the wife that there is (seemed) a distinct lack of conscious music on the TV music scene.  Have the corporates taken over that deep?  I remember Channel U used to showcase acts you'd never hear on the radio or see on TV.  It's was raggo and semi-professional in parts, but it was pure street.  You heard the youth and got their story.  Maybe I need to watch the channel more, there's probably still the shows I used to watch.


We'd been watching news reports on the regenerated spinal cells, Oscar Pistorius, Ebola, ISIS, UKIP, worldly stuff.  Shit to make you think.  Channel AKKA just showed fluff upon full upon fluff, Nicki Minaj, Lil Wayne, Ciara (ain't she like dead or some shit?), throwaway beats and poor song writing.  I lie, there was the one conscious tune, Eminem's Mosh.  Imagine that?  It just seemed ... I don't know.  Where are the English/UK crews?  Blanket wall-to-wall American RnB fluff.  But see, even at their most hardcore rappers like Biggie and Tupac always had a message for the youth, shit to make even a grown-up think.  Even the RnB crew had that angsty shit in their music, yes Love but real life too.

Sigh.  I'm getting old lol. Waiting for the Healthy, Wealthy and Wise bit..

***

Hahahaha!  I just realized what my two Sons have been singing around the house the last 3 days.  German Whip!  You know?! Whatever next.  My oldest (11 years) has been walking around the house mumbling "See Man driving a German Whip".  I asked him if he knew what a whip was.  Didn't have a clue.  Then I saw this video last night loooooool!  Raaaaah.  The Internets will definitely kill us.

Monday, 20 October 2014

I fear therefore I am

Ever switched away from a TV channel because a horror movie was about to come on? Ever been afraid to change jobs?  Ever feared travelling to a foreign country? Perhaps scared of being eaten by the savages? Scared of Africa? Ever felt digi when squeezed into a lift or getting on a packed rush-hour train? Broken out in cold sweat at the sight of a needle or an envelope containing your test results? Fearful of failure? Fear of dying?



I've tried to confront my fear of the unknown on numerous occasions, sometimes successfully, sometimes failing miserably at the first attempt.  My first memory of fear was the fear of Mathematics.  I struggled at it till my dad put me in Maths boot camp one summer, threatening me with all sorts if "You don't get it!!!".   Thankfully I did, annoyed with myself for taking so long.  Maybe it was mental paralysis.  Now I teach everyone else Maths.

Igbo people have a saying "One doesn't avoid engaging in war because of the fear of being shot".  It's basically means you must confront your fears because there is a real need to do so.  Imagine if Martin Luther King or Mandela let the fear of confinement or death decide their actions?

As I got older I started to get a better handle on the rational and irrational, fearful only of things for which I had no reference point or of stuff beyond my control (is anything really ever beyond one's control?).  Still, irrationally, I change channels when a horror movie comes on, but stand firm when threatened by a bully (who may actually harm me).  Fear of Hollywood Ghosts and imaginary Alien Monsters?  Never makes sense.

And you?

***

I like to consider myself a Hip Hop Aficionado, a connoisseur of the four elements - Emceein'. Deejayin', Graffiti and Breakin'.  At one point I used to live and breathe Hip Hop, a focal point in my teenage years.  One person who was always my point of reference was Kris Parker a.k.a KRS-ONE (Knowledge Reigns Supreme Over Nearly Everybody), the Emcee's Emcee, the Teacha.



The years have not tarnished his rep and as a motivational speaker he is without peer.  I've listened to many Black History Month lectures but this moved and resonated deeply.  I remembered why this man remains my favourite emcee.

Erotique Noire: Undress the Mind ...

Black Erotica


Black Erotica
black erotica
Black Erotica




Saturday, 18 October 2014

The Truth Is Out There

The Truth is problematic, inconvenient. So we skirt round it, pretend it's not there, justify shit, suppress it by force, zombify/drug-up ourselves to forget its there. Paralysis.  I should know.

But there are questions one must ask, answers one must seek.  Some way to make sense of the immediate and surrounding, develop tools analyze the lessons from the past, avoid the same mistakes in the future.  Agent Mulder wasn't crazy after all.



When most people know the truth, they commonly ask one question "What Can I do?"

Friday, 17 October 2014

TGIF - Jesus Pagan: Get Your Whiskey On!

Had "Pura Candela" by Whiskey Barons on repeat! Those hand claps? Pow!  If I was a DJ I'd be whipping this out like past midnight

TGIF



followed straight by this big choon from my Igbo Boy Patoranking .. #WhaYaSay?





Love the original video still, got a deep storyline running through it. Why some women get caught up and remain for so long in domestic abuse shit? I once got told by a friend that one of my boys was mad abusive to his girl.  But the times I saw them together it didn't seem so, they were all hug-up and kiss up.  But there were signs.  Finally she called me one night, sounding battered, crying and shit.  I was mad and said I'll step in but she was like no, no, it will pass, blah.  I was like when he's killed your claat right? So why did you call me then?  

Stockholm Syndrome smh

right I'm done vid posting. but this is too hot

phone zombies b/w weaponized viruses b/w tgif b/w wtf?!

I did feel a sense of loss when my spanking new(-ish) diamond encrusted, top-of-the-range Samsung GS4 mobile phone crapped out as I was just making moves Saturday night.  must have been the old Gods warning nigguz to go home; but nigguz never listen.  Everything slowed down to matrix time as the phone slipped from my fingers.  It's like that scene from the movie X-Men: Days of Future Past ...



Best scene in my opinion.  Don't forget to buy a copy from the DVD guy, Ming, hangs around in the McDonalds car park.

You feel cut off and very isolated, no SMS, no WhatsApp, no morning "as-I-iron-school-shirts" listens to BBC World Service on the iPlayer App, can't look at copulating couples on Tumblr App (I know, I'm a f**kin' pervert), can't check Train/Bus times, can't check the weather, can't call my Son to see if he got to school OK, can't call the wife to see if she needs anything.  Can't do lots of things.

Quite when I completely handed my life over to my phone I don't know.  But ... it has been crazy refreshing.  Sure, I could easily find an old phone and pop the SIM card in but I've chosen not to.

In short I've been forced to stop being a Phone Zombie.  A species I know so well.  I'm forever braking hard on and ducking around phone zombies when I cycle across London.  Women are the worse, they look you dead in the eye as you bear down on a road corner, acknowledge you(-ish), turn back to their phones, step into the road anyway.  Some neuron connections missing.  Don't worry ain't killed no ladies yet, my trusty bell doing to a job of clearing the road, evil grin as I watch their startled jump-out-of-skin expressions.  Muthafucka! get out the way!

*ring! ring! ring! ring!*

I complain but, hands up, I have been guilty of some irritable, impatient, irrational cycling decisions, trying to cut in through ridiculously small spaces, beating or running the traffic lights etc.  I almost killed this Indian gentleman a few weeks ago, didn't see the dude until the very last second. Gripped my brakes harder than I've ever squeezed on a horny chick's bottom (dude! jeez man! stop drooling! wipe your mouth!).


Thankfully I'd fixed my brakes the weekend before.  I can't say I've seen someone hit by a bicycle before.. wouldn't be fatal or anything like that, right?

***

Yeah boy! Nas documentary, shit gotta be watched.  Nah Ming ain't selling this, you gotta go ICA, the Ritzy in Brixton or some place for this


A Look Inside Nas: Time Is Illmatic from dress code on Vimeo.

***

Did I mentioned weaponized viruses in the blog title? OK, a bit cynical of me. Informative yet tragic ...


Ebola: A Poem For The Living (Pidgin) from United Methodist Communications on Vimeo.


I remember watching Season Two of the Channel 4 series "Utopia" (still available on the Channel 4 website), just when the Ebola crisis was hotting up.  This particular scene from Episode 4 caught my attention.  Would the US or some other shadowy agency intentionally release Ebola?  Some fucked-the-fucked-up Eugenics programme?  A pretext to get everyone to take a vaccine? Disseminate a virus that will kill a large proportion of Earth's population?  OK, I'm straying into conspiracy theory grey area.  But I remember the bird flu pandemic and how they were fobbing off that drug on everyone.  The response was too rapid, almost like instant, drugs at the ready.  Didn't feel right.  I routinely refuse to let myself or my kids get injected with shit.  I remember when my wife was pregnant the nurse advised her to take some injection or the other.  I was like and what exactly for? Nurse didn't really know, said it was a new Government guideline.  These people, smh ..

So they say it's fruit bats, migrating from the Congo .. but if so, how come no African countries between Congo and Guinea had Ebola infestations????  Doesn't add up, but then again nothing adds up.  From Islamic Caliphates to Ebola, someone or something is pulling the strings. And they definitely hate Kush people

Only Allah knows what our world is coming too ..



TGIF x

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Flames

Chris Brown feat. Usher and Rick Rozay.  Lovely choon, very cool video.  Kinda miss R&B like this.  I swear, I thought Usher was dead or something.



Dang! Alexandra Burke is so f**king sexy! Love the black number she's rocking at the end. And Dr. Sid? Dude moving from strength to strength, I remember first hearing him on some random mixtape back in Y2K12. Very nice

The Weeknd Is Gone

Been in a mellowed mood the last few days, what with the incessant London rain, bunnin' an 8th bag of High Grade, large Rizla paper, incense stick after incense stick, ChromeCast, copious amounts of hours spent watching Vice News on YouTube.  Vice is one of those YouTube channels I stumbled across on a random jaunt, I think I was searching for Liberian news stuff.  I've been hooked ever since.  Need to get back into a proper functioning mode, cut back on the Sensi still, the good herb is messing with my sleeping pattern.  It's served my reflections well but I need to deal with the real world.



Had a crazy weekend fuelled with Guinness, bacardi and coke, shenanigans, a few hours of sleep in between.  Had to pinch myself the next day, hard to believe how some of it went down, shit already too vague in my hung over head.  I was that drunk and out of it.  Savage in the pursuit of happiness.  The fear is that one becomes too beholden to one's impulses and desires, emotionless and without consideration for others. blind.  Had a great time, ain't complaining .. but ... yeah .. gotta rein in .. the red pill?  #moderation #therapy


Interesting bit on Friday, went to a party in Wembley, some place called Crystal Clubs, friend's 50th birthday.  Bumped into one of the ladies from the church, last place I expected to see her.  She was going in with the dances, Azonto, Sekem, proper brocking the moves, very sexy (my alcohol addled mind sees everything as sexy).  We chatted and danced and she was grinding all over me, weird(ish) considering that the last time I saw her she was assisting with Holy Communion duties.  At 2am she made her excuses and left, something about morning mass.

I am so heathen I don't even remember church anymore (doesn't help that I can shake my fixed sin mode).

Right done with the sombre blog post tone. Just had a brethren call me, passed his M.A in Computing and a very happy guy.  I talked him into doing it a couple of years ago and it's more than worth it.  An M.A is never an easy pursuit, much harder when you are older, have to juggle family and life stuff.  Oh yeah, a very large big up to you too, but I always knew you'd make it, especially with a decent merit . hope you had a good celebration :~) .. one day, God willing